Well you know summer has arrived in Bondi when 5 pissed guys asked me for a light at 6am (who look like they’d been up all weekend, wired, and just wobbled out of the Bondi hotel). Or maybe it’s the fact that the beach is coated in litter, a two seater lounge has been left from yesterdays crowds and the morning surf crew has doubled. “You know when summer has hit Bondi when…” Add Your Comment here
Two weeks of flatness and we’ve been blessed with a small swell. Bondi had a 2 foot wave, being the south facing magnet that it is…with offshore winds it looks quite inviting. You’d want to paddle out soon, the SE onshores are lurking (25 knots later today).
Small waves all week, tomorrow is probably the biggest and sadly the long weekend looks tiny. Sorry folks.
::uge
when…up to a month ago you could still get a parking spot on Campbell Parade at 6am
when there’s more waxed chests than bikini lines on the grassy knoll.
when my usual parking spot out the front of my place is now taken by tourists and I have to drive around for 30 mins to find one. hard to complain though when I live near the best beach in the world!
you use your sunnies as blinkers to filter out the ferrels
when I walk from South to North just so I can pass by the tourists with their radio ghetto blasters and the families to reach my friends on the knoll…
When the greesed mullets and other associated bad haircuts make the trek to Bondi.
when Kevin Rudd and the bloody Labor government will come up with another useless water saving initiative.
when … English becomes a second language.
when Geremy Blake trims up his package
rubbers no givaway cos its 4×3 ebombs year round for 90% of the crew.
(wetty salesmen in bondi are doing a fantastic job)
the only way to tell is a sudden influx of sombreros in the lineup.
When your Hastings Parade drive way gets used by some knob’s green Citroen.. all day.. yes you know who you are. Grrrr.
When we’re reminded Bondi belongs to all Australians, not just 2026 residents.
…when you can’t walk a straight line from the promenade to the water.
u start running on the soft sand again, you feel like u’ve got concrete boots on and your toes don’t turn into frozen stubbs like the last time u tried 6 weeks ago…
when the line up is filled with more kooks than ever!!!
…getting from South Bondi backpackers to Hurricane’s is a 45 minute drive.
instead of darting over the cold sand to the water you amble by trying not to stare too much at the largest congregation of scantily clad hotties on the planet…….
…the floor of my apartment gets sandy.
a southerly change comes in people evacuate the beach like there’s a Tsunami approaching.
THERE’S A GROUP OF BLOKES WHO HAVE HAIRCUTS LIKE SKUNK PELTS SITTING OUTSIDE HURRICANES
when the golden sands of Bondi disappear under a sea of human flesh
… you start wondering “how do people even ask for those ridiculous hair cuts”?
The litter on Bondi is heart breaking. I find myself picking up plastic, paper and bottles especially on the shoreline as the tide comes in and washes it into the water. On the soft sand track which we use every day you can find everything from broken glass to burger king wrappers to dog shit!
I have been onto the council with this but the seem to be doing nothing. It seems that ticketing some bloke who has overstayed on his parking is more important that enforcing the laws they have on litter. Countless emails to the council to put some litter monitors or get creative and get people to pick up after themselves is key to the survival of Bondi. I can think of a number of ideas to clean the beach up each day especially on the weekends but the council could not care less. At this rate Bondi will be an envirnmaentl disaster in no time at which poiint all those who killed it will move on to somewhere else to do their worst.
when you stop going there and find somewhere better!
….when even geursy & wal arent getting many waves in the morning!!
when there are more people wearing brands like adidas and Umbro then Quicksilver and Billabong
…there is more laughter and music drifting on the night air……
I agree with Guy, the garbage on the ground outside the take away food stores in Campbell Pde makes me feel embarrassed to be a human being. It is humanity at its worst, we have learn’t nothing.
when a new crew of backpackers move in next door as the old one’s leave their skanky lounge on the kerb
…when the kiddies pool is nice and warm???
When the Red Mal Baron dons his red speedos.
when your push bike gets stolen from infront of the surf club!!! if i find the thief god help them…
when you have to walk through lebanon to get to the knoll
the 333,380 or 381 is jammed in like a sardine can of people sweating like a pedofile in a playground
when every man and his dog decide it’s a great time to try swimming for the first time in their life
when you go for a twenty minute surf with your mate only to come back in and realise your bags are stolen with my brand new phone. wallet, towel, clothes and all!
…when you opt to take a softie to Tama rather than maneuver the european obstacle course at Bondi…
when there are more mullets on the sand than in the water
when there are more football shorts than boardshorts
when a glorious day is blown away by a sand-blasting onshore gale, and middle Bondi is still packed with people in footy-shorts chasing frisbees
when you peel out first thing sat morn and hightail it to trech!
you’re even less likely to go anywhere near the place. At the Bra, we get the craps if there’s more than about a thousand people.
when the bergs-to-ben buckler swim needs traffic control
when you start plotting your weekend escapes to campsites up the coast
when the fffffffff fffffffff bootcamps start leaking. Take a sleep in instead. No, really.
when chinese tourist trouser turn-ups get wet. very.
when you live in London and all your mates in Bondi start sending you pics of the beach and giving you s$%^ about the English weather.
when you feel out of place in your boardies and crazy ideas start creeping into your head like, I should sunbake with oil all over me, or maybe I should get a pair of those euro shorts everyone seems to be wearing…?
when swimmercam becomes a permanent fixture on the Aquabumps daily updates… the morning pre-work run becomes a slalom obstacle course ‘cos suddenly everyone wants to exercise… and when Tama seems a far better option to escape the hoards of weekend hoons :o)
when you catch a wave at packed north end and end up with some micro groms clambering on the front of your board
the ladies start going topless…..
its December, January or February…
when someone steals your new thongs (again) when you leave them at the bottom of the south end ramp
when us year round regulars start whinging about the influx of blow-ins as though our relo’s watched Cook sail in. life’s tough.
…when the winter has already started in switzerland and the only sunshine you can see is the one on the pictures of Bondi-Beach..
… when the wind in Edinburgh is cold enough to cut you in half…
Oh how I miss Bondi !!
When the leaves fall off the trees in SoCal
When it takes 2 hours to get a feed from hurricanes
Winter is coming up in France, and i am feeling so sad when i am thinking of FRESWATER …………………
when we start seeing all you diehard Bondi “locals” on the northern beaches..
when cambo makes his way from blacktown for a dip
when all those overcooked pink babes and baldies wished they were here in belfast enjoying our 7degrees wet and windy weather to cool down……..
when shoes become a thing of the past and sand seems to spill out of every pocket nook and cranny
when i stop surfing at bondi….
Summer in West Oz = Bushflies… F’n heaps of them!!!
When you see male english tourists chatting up local girls after swimming in their white Y fronts. Success rate a possible minus 10